The Mother’s Instincts

Mother’s Instinct: I thought it was all some way of my mom to prevent me from going somewhere or doing something. She tells me sometimes how she’s not at ease over something. Most of the times, she’s right. On other times, I thought she just overacted on things. But now that I’m a also a mom, I think a mother’s instinct is true. I sense things I never sensed before. I sometimes think I have acquired a new talent: premonition.

Something grew from my baby’s left eyebag. I had it checked by her pediatrician and she said my daughter had a sty. She gave us antibiotic and an eye drop. After 2 weeks, it only subsided but was never really totally gone. So I had my daughter checked by an ophthalmologist, hoping he could give me the right “name” for what seems a sty for everyone else. I paid a more expensive doctor’s fee only to be told it’s just a sty. We’re given an even more expensive antibiotic and eye drop! But it never subsided. It just swelled even more. I began to worry but I did not stop with her meds. I continued them religiously hoping it would somehow lessen the swelling of that red bump on my daughter’s eyebag area.

I was never content with the doctors’ findings. For me, they did not perform an extensive check-up at my daughter’s eye. Maybe because they got intimidated by how loud she cried and how she violently twisted her body to get out from my embrace. But those weren’t enough reasons for a doctor to easily say it’s a sty. I even read here that you may confuse a sty with another eye infection. And that’s where I first encountered the word “Chalazion”. I instantly texted my friend who’s a nurse and happens to be my daughter’s godmother as well if she has ever encountered that word. I googled it and like finding a treasure in an island (only with a broken heart), the lump on my daughter’s eyebag was indeed a Chalazia/Chalazion and NOT a sty. And at the back of my mind I can hear myself saying “I was right!”

At the beginning of its appearance on my daughter’s face, I knew it wasn’t a sty. Her pedia said if antibiotics couldn’t clear it, we may need to have her undergo a minor surgery. But given she’s just a toddler, she may need to be put in general anesthesia. My husband and I hoped the antibiotics together with the eye drop could help eradicate it. Surgery, whether minor or major, doesn’t sound appealing to me. When I was pregnant and was told that if the baby won’t go head down, I might go into C-section. I tried every safe way to help my baby flip. She did flip and I was saved from a major operation. But now we’re faced with another decision to make.

Should have I listened to my instincts from the very beginning, maybe we could have been saved from useless trip to that eye doctor and spending money on not-so-helpful medicines. Maybe we could have saved more time and maybe by now my daughter is just recovering from her surgery.